When emotions overwhelm a writer, sometimes the only cure is poetry. For E.C. Sainz, it's clear that YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL BACK came from the emergent need to release an overwhelming amount of pressure.
This poem, spanning 80 pages and turning back on itself, overflows with visceral anger and an insistence that the narrator has found what they needed to heal. Sainz opens with an exploration of the way in which intense relationships consume its participants, permanently altering their very chemical makeup.
The work then delves into those changes: specifically, the way they damaged and then built Sainz anew. The piece juxtaposes the present with the wounds of past ancestors, followed by an examination of the way that future generations are cursed and further damage the kids born from this relationship. YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL BACK explores the concepts of ancestors past, children, and the future both in concrete and metaphorical terms. There are mentions of needing affirmation with love notes, comparisons to infancy, and examples of the way in which children are consumed with abandon.
Sainz performs an emotional exorcism with lines found in the title. By writing, “You can have it all back / I never meant to take from you,” Sainz attempts to remove what this relationship changed. Throughout the poem, the author claws for control and empowerment. They are often found in flashes like this:
I became the fulfillment
Of your
Cursed love
And deadly holy
Mission
To burn the
Witch out of me
Yet here I stand
Whole
He then reverts back to a reconciliation of the damage done over nearly five decades of relationships. The poem is furious and raw, containing an intensity that's built up by the length. Yet it lacks structural integrity, which is an issue of form: YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL BACK is eventually repeated, unchanged. This does not seem to be intentional, except the page numeration suggests that it might actually be so. As it stands, it seems that satisfaction and true release cannot be found; the epic reverts back to rage and brokenness.
Such personal, emotional intensity can be daunting to edit, but this piece may benefit from some further examination to avoid alienating readers. In its present form, it is a very specific niche. Despite its flaws, some readers may be able to appreciate and enjoy YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL BACK for what it is: a rage-filled curse to deny a relationship access to what's left of a person.
While E.C. Sainz's YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL BACK delivers an artful, directed rage, the lack of closure takes the winds of empowerment out of this emotional rescue boat's sails.
~ Melodie Coulter for IndieReader