WRESTLING WITH WISDOM AT THE CROSSROADS is a thoughtful and reflexive look at faith, addiction, and recovery. Divided into three sections, author Chilly Billy Howell shares his healing journey through COVID, his explorations of faith with his wife Madge, and his past history of addiction. He then shares thoughts and reflections shared in stages that explore addiction, the struggles of facing his past, self-acceptance, and recovery. The third section of the book comprises thoughtful poems.
Following the narrative of Howell's addiction, faith, and recovery journey, the second part of the book is perhaps the most fascinating—with the author sharing a range of very nuanced thoughts on self, family, community, nature, politics, and faith. These thoughts are nuanced, often profound, and contemplative. When thinking about knowledge, Howell shares, “The ignorance of the ignorant is evidenced when we mock what we don’t understand,” and when exploring his journey of recovery, he argues that “it’s hard to bootstrap when one has no boots.” The second section explores the reshaping and rebirthing of the self after addiction, navigating through the grief of past mistakes toward final self-acceptance. These deep reflections pull the reader into a space of intense thought and engagement. While Howell could further develop certain concepts, his restraint invites reader participation and leaves room for personal interpretation. The text is laid out in single, thoughtful sentences—each one insightful and best read over time.
The notebook-style thoughts are followed by poems, which add rhythm and flow to the memoir while enhancing the emotional resonance. Here, blunt insight is replaced by lyricism, deepening the emotional impact of the memoir. The poems are devotions to children, to fatherhood, to regret, and to love—ending the memoir on a gentle, somewhat wistful note.
Howell focuses a lot on faith, spirituality, church, and self. Thus, WRESTLING WITH WISDOM AT THE CROSSROADS will appeal to readers who are on a spiritual quest, given to deep reflection, or trying to find their way after addiction, illness, or an identity shift. It’s filled with humility, soul, and sometimes self-loathing. It can be a hard read in places, as the author feels a deep sense of shame for his past, yet one can see that he is able to move beyond his regret and into a deeper sense of peace—for both himself and those he loves.
When a book ends and leaves the reader feeling dislocated, that's a winner. Howell's work is heavy, but those who spend time with it will find it rich, rewarding, and soulful.
In WRESTLING WITH WISDOM AT THE CROSSROADS, Chilly Billy Howell provides a masterful, emotionally resonant exploration of recovery and faith that is sure to inspire anyone standing at their own life’s crossroads.
~ Nicci Attfield for IndieReader