UNSHRINKABLE: Why Strong Women Secretly Criticize, Diminish, and Thwart Themselves…and How to Stop starts on a personal note. Author Darby Bonomi, PhD describes some of the challenges she was facing when writing the book, then offers an example of how she navigated the situation. This sets the tone for much of the work, which is written in an easy-to-read style: Bonomi shares a story (either one of her own, or those of other women she has interacted with), then builds on those experiences with helpful advice and encouragement.
In some parts of the book, the phrasing does begin to feel redundant. At times, it’s the specific wording used; other times, it’s the fact that the same story or specific lesson is often referenced several times before moving on. In both cases, the result slows down the pace and makes reading slightly less enjoyable. This might in part be related to the psychological side, as it’s a known fact that when you hear something repeated over and over, it is more likely that you’ll internalize it. Perhaps the repetition of the positive thinking moments was intended to achieve that goal. Instead, readers are left with sections that feel clunky and superfluous. While much of the book is written with a clear voice and strong message, the repetition risks weakening the beauty of the encouraging message that UNSHRINKABLE seeks to impart to its readers.
Even so, the book has a lot of good information. In one of her examples, Bonomi shares a quote from one of her clients: “We get experience by getting experience.” With most anything, you have to start somewhere. Yet, for many women, admitting that they’re just starting or are inexperienced at something comes with its own sense of dread and even shame. In order to address this misplaced negativity, Bonomi encourages readers by reminding them that everyone starts somewhere; there’s always going to be someone a little further along. That’s natural. In choosing to show up and learn instead of allowing fear to diminish their potential, they’ve already taken the first step—and that’s something to be proud of.
Bonomi shares many useful recommendations, but one thing that really stands out is her discussion of community and how women need mentors. She encourages readers to actively look for others to learn from, and to be on the lookout for those younger or less experienced around them (women to teach and encourage along the way): “The fact is, women need mentors. We need each other to step in, lend a hand, and lead—not compete.” This is a central theme that shows up in nearly all of her anecdotal examples, and it strengthens the book as a whole.
Darby Bonomi’s UNSHRINKABLE: Why Strong Women Secretly Criticize, Diminish, and Thwart Themselves…and How to Stop offers valuable lessons and actionable steps to help women build their confidence and embrace their potential.
~ Stephanie Lynn for IndieReader