In this beautifully written memoir, Dima Ghawi tells a Cinderella tale of oppression and liberation that focuses on what patriarchy does to a girl growing up in modern Jordan.
Ghawi writes of the confusing messages her family sends her during her childhood. In one iteration, she plays a game with her Tata, her grandmother, in which she pretends to walk across a stage and receive a college diploma, part of her grandmother’s secret desire that Ghawi become the first educated woman in her family. On the other side, her father subjects her to irrational rages. The overriding message Ghawi receives in her childhood tells her she must be a pure, flawless glass vase: any crack in her purity will bring shame and dishonor raining down on her and her family.
Ghawi does go to college, but drops out when her Prince Charming arrives in the guise of a handsome, charismatic, and wealthy man who wants to marry her. The two move to California, away from her abusive father. Ghawi, however, does not stop at this seemingly fairytale ending: she chronicles how Jordan’s patriarchal ways pursue her to San Diego and threaten to destroy her.
Ghawi writes clearly and sparely, keeping the pages effortlessly turning, but she also has an eye for details that makes the story come alive: traditional filled pastries, TV dramas that indoctrinate her into traditional Jordanian mores, and the gold jewels a woman receives when engaged. One can guess the trajectory of the story almost from the start, but, as in a Jane Austen novel, the beautifully written journey is the reward.
One quibble with this book is the idealized view of the corporate world Ghawi offers. While she does have struggles, especially in Japan, it’s hard to imagine, post #MeToo, a beautiful young woman like her not encountering more problems in a world that she describes as more like a PR brochure than reality. Nevertheless, this detracts little from her broader point of contrasting the opportunities in a country that values women to one that does not.
Ghawi clearly had an excellent editor and worked hard to polish this book. While her struggles are reminiscent of what American women in the 1960s or 1970s might have faced, the sad reality is they remain relevant. Ghawi’s strength and wisdom provide inspiration to today’s women to hold on to and cherish the hard-fought rights they have won.
~Diane Reynolds for IndieReader