SWIMMING WITH SHARKS (Surviving Narcissist-Infested Waters) is a comprehensive book about narcissists—perhaps too comprehensive. Author Alena Scigliano, a licensed psychotherapist, specializes in counseling patients who have suffered abuse from narcissists, whether they are spouses, parents, friends, bosses, neighbors, co-workers, or pretty much anyone in the patients’ social circles. In fact, Scigliano compares narcissistic abuse to the killing of Ukrainian civilians by Russian soldiers: “There are children, families, and others who are murdered by narcissistic parents,” she writes, adding that “millions of people are victims of narcissistic abuse.” In the United States, people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder are estimated to form between 1.6 percent to 5 percent of the population, but Scigliano argues that the criteria are too narrow and there are many more narcissists who never get diagnosed. However, she repeats several times throughout her book that her views aren’t based on research, but mostly on her experience as a therapist and her own theories. She also correctly points out that even normal people have narcissistic traits, whereas a true narcissist must have several such indicators.
Despite these caveats, the reader might easily believe that anyone who has abused or even been inconsiderate about their feelings might be a narcissist. Scigliano takes the conventional therapist’s position: people should be convinced that “I am good enough just as I am.” However, as the famous clinical psychologist Dr. Jordan Peterson has argued, this is not helpful for patients, who would not be seeking therapy if they did not need to change themselves in some way. Scigliano includes a long list of red flags to identify a narcissist and provides steps to heal from narcissistic abuse (which she calls “soul mending”). The book is divided into five parts, titled “Shark Tales,” “Swimming in Narcissist-Infested Waters,” “Surviving Narcissist-Infested Waters,” “The Nature of Narcissists,” and “Navigating Forward.” Her book, Scigliano writes, “will guide you in breaking free of the chains any narcissist has clasped on you in order to maintain control over you.”
Naive readers may find difficulty in following this guidance, however, since Scigliano never clearly distinguishes between narcissists and persons who are merely self-centered, selfish, egotistical, or abusive for other reasons. Informed readers, on the other hand, will find much useful information in the book. In the final analysis, though, any therapist can help a patient if the patient agrees with their values and perspective. Scigliano is “respectful of all gender pronouns” and believes every narcissist is “a child of our creator.” These should serve as sufficient indicators to readers as to how valuable they will find her approach and, by extension, her book.
Author and licensed psychotherapist Alena Scigliano treats narcissism like the proverbial hammer where every problem begins to look like a nail in her book, SWIMMING WITH SHARKS (Surviving Narcissist-Infested Waters). Even so, her treatment of this particular condition is extensive and detailed.
~Kevin Baldeosingh for IndieReader