Everyone has heard of a “swear jar.” Many of you, or some of your parents, might even have used them. It’s a real jar and when someone in the house accidentally blurts out an expletive, they must put money, usually a dollar, into the jar. I wish I had started one when I first began college; I’d have enough to buy a new house.
The main piece of advice I give aspiring writers (actors, comedians, dancers, artists, etc.) is built on the same premise. You need to start a rejection jar. This jar will exist in your imagination instead of on your kitchen counter, but you need to start filling it all the same. Every time you get a rejection from an agent, a publisher, a producer, or from anyone, you add it to your jar.
No one likes to be rejected. It’s in our nature to feel sad and possibly depressed. “No” is such a funny word. We fear it. We dread it. We give it power it does not have. But think about this. If you hear the word “No” one million times from one million people, your life has not changed at all. Everything is exactly as it was before. But it only takes one “Yes” to change your life forever.
Unfortunately, getting to that “Yes” is usually only achieved once you have built up enough rejections. I read once that the difference in regular people and very successful people is that very successful people have been rejected many more times. They just didn’t let it deter them. Hence, treat every rejection as a prize and add it to your jar and know that it gets you one step closer to where you want to be. You’ll be doing it just like every successful person has done it before you.
You probably know the story of Colonel Sanders. Motivational speakers love to tell it. His original idea was to let existing mom-and-pop restaurants use his family’s recipe and pay a percentage whenever someone ordered the chicken with eleven herbs and spices. The question is—How many restaurants told him “No” before the first one said “Yes”? If we are to believe the stories, it was over nine hundred. How many rejections would you have had to hear before you lost faith and went back to Kentucky with your tail between your legs? For the average person, it would be ten.
When I speak at schools, seminars, workshops, or other organizations, people often ask me if I have been rejected a lot. I always answer honestly. “If I printed all my rejections, I could wallpaper the inside of my house…and my mom’s house…and my sisters’…”
I will add that I have been blessed with some good luck in the last two years. I finally signed with a major NYC literary agent, and she successfully sold my new memoir to a major NYC publisher. Three months after my book was released, my movie agent, which I didn’t even know I had, successfully pitched my memoir to a producer in Los Angeles. As soon as the writer’s strike is over, they will resume adapting it into a ten-part miniseries.
I began a cartoon nine years ago for fun, Pancho el Pit Bull, and it also has taken on a life of its own. I signed a six-book deal with Editorial Planeta, the largest publisher of Spanish books, and they have published three Pancho books in South America, and they will soon be released in Spain. I just signed the contract for a production company to begin making the pilot episode as they make my cartoon into an animated series.
I guess you could say my cup runneth over, but it’s only because my rejection jar did first.
***
Neal Wooten is a contributor to the Huff Post, columnist for the Mountain Valley News, author, artist, and standup comic. His new true-crime memoir, With the Devil’s Help (Pegasus Crime/Simon and Schuster), is being made into a miniseries. He is also the creator of the cartoon, Pancho el Pit Bull, which is being made into an animated series in South America.