“In my family, there wasn’t a single way of hating ourselves, the world, or each other that we did not try—feasting on our own flesh, like wild animals that eat their young.” So begins Britt East’s memoir/self-help hybrid, A GAY MAN’S GUIDE TO LIFE, which is “for gay men, by a gay man.” East is the friend you go to when you need a reality check or a bit of information. Where does his authority come from? A life on the outs, mixed with the spirit such a life couldn’t quash, and written in an easygoing but wise voice.

In the preface, East narrates his lonely childhood. The lackluster college years. A stint in grad school. One or two suicide attempts. His first boyfriend, who didn’t really love him. His second boyfriend, who was arrested for having sex with a minor. Police. Lawyers. Broken promises. Drug abuse. He covers each area as if ticking it off a list, offering few substantive details–not even the boyfriends’ names. Instead, he falls back on generalizations: “I lived in my own world, a reality based on delusion and dissociation.” “I scorned friendship and rejected those that would love me.” “I was an empty shell, a husk.” These are powerful statements, but they commit the cardinal sin of the storyteller: they tell; they don’t show.

The rest of the book is devoted to East’s advice on living. He covers body, mind, career, finances, sex, community, service work–not a short list. The advice is good, but like his personal narrative, it feels nonspecific. Here, for example, are his recommendations to optimize physical health: count calories, create a nutrition plan, cut down on snacking, do cardiovascular training, get more sleep, and check your testosterone levels. None of these is unique to gay men. Only one–checking T levels–concerns men at all. It also doesn’t seem to occur to East that people who need his book the most–those struggling with mental health–are the most likely to be overwhelmed by it. East advocates tearing down your life to the studs and rebuilding. How can someone do that who has trouble taking a shower, making a grocery list, or placing a phone call?

Britt East’s A GAY MAN’S GUIDE TO LIFE is a self-help manual long on sentiment but short on detailed, actionable advice.

~Anthony Aycock for IndieReader