The massive pressures of being a high school senior in Kansas, circa 2001, are front and center in Janet Kelley’s TAINT. While there are life elements that are explored with pithy humor and glimpses of optimism, the story explores in-depth how tempting – and how easy – it is to live inside one’s head.  Rebecca is known at school by students and teachers alike as smart, independent and withdrawn, but wary and fiercely loyal to the few friends she has. However, she is hardest on herself, as well as being a realist. “I’m smart enough to know I want to look dumb . . . We shun ideals. It hurts too much.” The honesty of this mindset shines through; this character is no trope. Her parents are divorced and she has a fairly healthy relationship with both (there are the usual disagreement about “what’s fun” between Rebecca and her mom regarding birthday parties, etc.).

At her core, Rebecca is angry. Hearing about her best friend Luke’s horrific experience – he was raped by their by the principal’s son – was bad enough, but he has sworn her to secrecy. Now she feels trapped within that secret which colors everything about their senior year in high school, and their relationship with each other. She warns the reader that she is now Rebecca After. She researches boy-on-boy rape and becomes obsessed with how to punish the attacker; he is always around every corner, behind her in the lunch line, near her locker – always THERE. She daydreams about committing various acts of violence against the boy and his father. Finally she crafts a more inventive plan for revenge – but that leads to unexpected, hurtful consequences. And throughout, Rebecca’s daily life as a senior goes on – with college applications and pressures of good grades and working on the school paper and looming graduation with its ever-present ‘what’s next?’ TAINT is not for the faint-of-heart or those who wish to view the teen experience through rose-colored glasses. In places it is a rough read. But it is a beautifully honest exploration of the intense pain that these vital years can bring, and the lessons to be learned when one handles that pain with bravery and grace.

Through visceral language, humor, and relatable streams of consciousness, author Janet Kelley honestly explores teen relationships, sexual assault and sexual curiosity, and all the pitfalls of being on the cusp of adulthood in TAINT.

~Kathleen Kenney Peterson for IndieReader