Darkwater: A Pastor’s Memoir of Depression and Faith was the winner in the Psychology/Mental Health category of the 2023 IndieReader Discovery Awards, where undiscovered talent meets people with the power to make a difference.
Following find an interview with author Michael J. Scholtes.
What is the name of the book and when was it published?
Darkwater: A Pastor’s Memoir of Depression and Faith, 2022.
What’s the book’s first line?
“Darkwater, is in one way, the story of my relationship with God.”
What’s the book about? Give us the “pitch”.
There is a voice in Michael’s head. A voice that tells him he is worthless and unlovable. The voice masquerades as his own, wreaking havoc on his friendships and romantic relationships. It keeps him from pursuing the career he’s called to. It tears his life apart, piece by piece, leading him to the knife-edge of suicide on more than one occasion. The voice almost defeats him, and yet there is another voice – the still, small voice of God always whispering to him, “I love you.”
This is the true story of Michael’s journey from a precocious child in a small town to the spiritual leader of a faith community, and how he slowly and fitfully learns how to listen to the better angels within. Told with brutal honesty and insight into his own mental condition, this is a story of friendship, depression, despair, faith, and a God who refuses to let go.
What inspired you to write the book? A particular person? An event?
For several years, I have been sharing my story of mental illness with the congregation where I am pastor. I have found that sharing it, while risky, has brought healing both to me and to people in the congregation. This book was my attempt to share this healing with a wider audience.
What’s the most distinctive thing about the main character? Who-real or fictional-would you say the character reminds you of?
Hah! It’s a memoir, so I would say the main character reminds me of…well, me. Seriously, though, The most distinctive thing about the main character is probably transparency and honesty. I have been told many times that I am “brave” for sharing this story. I don’t know about that, but I do know that it’s uncommon for people to talk this openly about their experiences with mental illness.
What’s the main reason someone should really read this book?
Depends on who you are. If you’re someone who lives with depression or some other mental illness, read this in order to see that you’re not alone; that there’s hope, even amid your struggles; that God still loves you, even when you can’t love yourself. If you’re someone who loves someone with depression, read this book in order to get a deeper understanding of what they are going through, what life looks like through their lenses. If you’re a member or leader of a faith community, read this to see that it’s okay to be open about your struggles, and to learn a bit how your community can be welcoming and helpful to folks like me.
If they made your book into a movie, who would you like to see play the main character(s)?
I always thought Seth Rogen would play me pretty well.
When did you first decide to become an author?
I’ve been writing in various ways (blogs, essays, sermons, poems, song lyrics, and so forth) since high school. I always dreamed of being published someday. I continue to be amazed every time I see my name on the cover of my book.
Is this the first you’ve written?
This is my first published book. But there’s loads of my writing available on my blog at thescholtes.com.
What do you do for work when you’re not writing?
I’m a Lutheran pastor, serving a mid-sized congregation.
How much time do you generally spend on your writing?
Depends on the day. I try to write for at least an hour a day, but that doesn’t always happen.
What’s the best and the hardest part of being an indie?
Darkwater was published by a hybrid publisher. After receiving rejection after rejection from traditional publishers, I was delighted that Boyle & Dalton were willing to give me a chance. For me, that’s the best thing – indie publishers provide more opportunities for unknown writers with unorthodox stories to tell.
Would you go traditional if a publisher came calling? If so, why?
Maybe, if they gave me some evidence that I could reach more people publishing with them. For me, the point of being published is to reach an audience that can benefit from hearing my story.
Is there something in particular that motivates you (fame? fortune?)
I have mixed motivations. In part, I want to help people, and I think my story can do so. In part, I am someone who is seeking for validation for my own experiences and my own talents. I’m always longing for that kind of connection.
What inspired you to write the book? A particular person? An event?
5. What’s the most distinctive thing about the main character? Who-real or fictional-would you say the character reminds you of?
What’s the main reason someone should really read this book?