BullyProof explains how to win when interacting with alpha personalities.
All bullies are alphas, but not all alphas are bullies. Alphas are people who take charge of situations whether they are the expert or identified leaders. More often than not alphas are perceived as bullies and it’s not always intentional. The challenge is that when interacting with alphas the reaction is often emotional and results in two actions: 1) punch back harder (fight) or 2) avoid and run (flight). This results in a cycle of dysfunction and losing. People are programmed to hate people who push them around and that hate cloud strategy. The best approach is to find a “fit” which will give someone a better chance of getting what they want. Amazingly it also breaks the cycle of dysfunction, fighting, and avoidance and allows alphas to see the value in partnering and not winning at all costs.
BullyProof is not a book about giving up, giving in, or losing. Contrary to popular belief, power is something anyone can build in themselves and others. Dr. Fazio explains that there are ways to win that don’t focus on making sure someone loses. People love the underdog. Dr. Fazio has spent the last 20 years advising underdogs and the top dogs. What he has found through his original research, client experience, and life experience, has revealed that strength is the critical factor for success. It helps the powerless gain power, and the powerful be more mindful of the impact of their power. More specifically an underused, but incredibly effective approach to influence is leveraging subtle strength. This is an intentional influence that demonstrates calm confidence, backbone, and respect.