Does She Think of Me, A Birth Mother’s Journey to Forgiveness received a 5 star review, making it an IndieReader Approved title.
Following find an interview with author Cathy Thrun.
What is the name of the book and when was it published?
Does She Think of Me, A Birth Mother’s Journey to Forgiveness was published March 13, 2020.
What’s the book’s first line?
“You’re making a very selfless and brave decision.” Said the soft spoken, dark haired social worker as she slowly slid the documents onto the cold overbed table positioned across my lap.
What’s the book about? Give us the “pitch”.
Does She Think of Me is a true story of a teenager growing up in a dysfunctional home with an alcoholic parent and why adoption, for her child, was the only option. It highlights the birth mother’s trauma as she tries to come to terms with the decision she made while trying to live a normal life. A reunion 19 years later erases the shame and guilt but, understanding, acceptance and love can be found in forgiving oneself and others.
What inspired you to write the book? A particular person? An event?
Funny thing is that I didn’t plan on writing a book let alone publish one. I was searching for a gift idea to celebrate the twentieth anniversary of mine and my daughters reunion. I remembered that I had saved all the emails we exchanged over a two month period (in 1999) until we were able to meet in person. My plan was to compile those into a book format to give to her as a gift, a reminder of how far we’ve come. I hired an editor, Marnie Woodrow, to help me pretty it up. She encouraged me to write some context around the emails and liked what she read so much so that she encouraged me to publish my book.
What’s the main reason someone should really read this book?
When I started searching for my daughter I scoured the books stores and the internet to find something, anything to help prepare me emotionally. I never did find it. So I wanted to write what I couldn’t find. It wasn’t until I wrote my book that I had an epiphany in that I really didn’t know what I was looking for. Forty years later I’ve come to realize that back then, in 1999, I was searching for a connection with another birth mother’s pain and suffering, that I wasn’t alone. I want people to read Does She Think of Me to learn why a woman would even consider surrendering her child to adoption. To understand that she never returns unscathed. On the exterior she might look happy, strong and in control of her life but internally she’s harbouring a festering pain of guilt, shame and loss. The loss of the only person who heard her heart beat from inside her body…her child. As well as to witness the healing power of forgiving through reunion while respecting boundaries and expectations.
If they made your book into a movie, who would you like to see play the main character(s)?
Natalie Portman, I was a shy teenager growing up and I think she could pull off the wholesome shy country girl look. One who rises up to face adversity and then becomes a strong, successful career women, twice divorced who is driven by the love for her family.
When did you first decide to become an author?
It was totally unexpected! Countless numbers of family and friends have said over and over, “You have to write a book.” I knew I had a story to tell but never imagined I would actually put it to paper and share it with the world. What was supposed to be a unique gift idea for my daughter turned me into an author.
Is this the first book you’ve written?
Yes. It was hard work but I loved every minute of it.
What do you do for work when you’re not writing?
I’m a Continuous Improvement Specialist with an ongoing passion for improving products, services and/or processes. I develop process maps to identify gaps, write procedures and work instructions all in an effort to improve efficiencies, to do more with less.
How much time do you generally spend on your writing?
It is so easy to procrastinate when it comes to writing. I wrote my book in 3 months by committing to a bi-weekly chapter submittal to my editor. To meet that deadline I wrote every evening after work for 3-4 hours. There were days where I was so exhausted that I basically had to peel myself off the couch to go write. But once in my writing spot, I lost all track of time. I’m currently spending a lot of time marketing Does She Think of Me but when I’m ready to start my next book I will schedule 4-5 hours a week and 3-5 over a weekend. If not I might lose momentum causing inches of dust to build up on the keyboard.
What’s the best and the hardest part of being an indie?
I don’t have a lot to compare to with this being my first book but I have learned that I like being in control of my book, the cover design, the internal layout. At the end of the day I had the final word. The hardest part is the marketing, promoting myself and navigating those unfamiliar waters. It’s a learning curve but it will help prepare me for book #2.
What’s a great piece of advice that you can share with fellow indie authors?
Have confidence in yourself and never underestimate the power of a skilled editor and a great cover design. They are worth every penny. A great cover draws me in and personally, if I find a few errors in the first two chapters of any book, it goes in the garbage. I don’t finish it! Invest in a skilled, professional editor. You will never regret it.
Would you go traditional if a publisher came calling? If so, why?
Most definitely. I haven’t tried to go the traditional publishing route because I’ve heard it’s not easy to get a deal with one. It could take years if at all but if they come to me than that’s half the battle won. I’m intrigued by what a traditional publisher could do for my book like increase sales and get my book on shelves of brick and mortar stores.
Is there something in particular that motivates you (fame? fortune?)
My family is my motivator. Who wouldn’t want more money? But reality is it can be gone as quick as it came. Everything I do stems from my love for my family and how we can support each other through anything. Money can’t replace that.
Which writer, living or dead, do you most admire?
It’s difficult to pick one. I love Jane Austen for period pieces and then Danielle Steele.
Which book do you wish you could have written?
Pride and Prejudice hands down my favorite book. The hopeless romantic in me loves this favorite scene, “Mr. Darcy you must know…surely…you must know it was all for you. You are to generous to trifle with me. I believe you spoke with my aunt last night, and it has taught me to hope as I’d scarcely allowed myself before. If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes have not changed, but one word from you will silence me forever. If, however, your feelings have changed, I will have to tell you: you have bewitched me body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on.”