Out of Something Ugly was the winner in the Poetry category of the 2018 IndieReader Discovery Awards, where undiscovered talent meets people with the power to make a difference.
Following find an interview with author Margot Nothing.
My book is called Out of Something Ugly, and I published it in December 2017.
What’s the book’s first line?
The first line that I consider to be a line is the book’s dedication:
Buddy –
I wish you were still here.
Buddy was a cat, and the closest friend I have ever had.
What’s the book about? Give us the “pitch”.
Out of Something Ugly is a book of poetry; mostly autobiographical, but with some exploration into other characters and situations. It’s mostly a plunge into the ramifications of abuse, and a study of the cataclysmic conflicting emotions that can result from loving someone who hurt you. Lastly, it is about trying to function as an adult, trying to put together a cohesive, functional identity out of so many broken pieces.
What inspired you to write the book? A particular person? An event?
I was inspired to write the book because my whole life I have been withdrawn, guarded, and closed in on myself. Writing – and publishing – this book was the first step toward learning to express myself, to insert myself into the outside world.
What’s the most distinctive thing about the main character? Who-real or fictional-would you say the character reminds you of?
I would say that the most distinctive thing about me (or at least the part of me that is shown in this book) is my drive to derive meaning from all of the events that I have experienced. I am constantly striving towards intense, cathartic change.
What’s the main reason someone should really read this book?
I think the main reason that someone should read this book is to find reassurance and comfort in the fact that they’re not alone. People who have been through dark things, who are plagued by dark thoughts – they can tend to feel alone, separate, like they’re defective and different. They can feel like they’re the only one who’s had these experiences, had these thoughts. Seeing that others have been to the same place (seeing that, indeed, this place actually gets a great deal of traffic) can be a relief, a great first step towards feeling normal again – or maybe normal for the first time.
When did you first decide to become an author?
I think when I was seven, or eight. I was suddenly inspired to write a huge, essentially neverending novel about a group of American friends traversing the rainforest on the search for a researcher friend of theirs who had gone missing there. I think it had something to do with demons, or magic – the animals acted oddly and the forest kept changing. Of course, being eight I never got more than two pages in, so the characters are forever stuck on the outskirts of the Amazon, arguing about whether or not they have enough gasoline for all the Jeeps.
What’s a great piece of advice that you can share with fellow indie authors?
To not be insecure. You are who you are, your work is what it is. Nobody else can fill your slot. And, at the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter if other people like your work or not. If you’re content with what you are, and what you make, that’s all that matters.
Is there something in particular that motivates you?
I want to feel that I’ve created something meaningful, something that will continue to be beautiful long after I’m gone. I want to make something that I can look at and say, “This is why I was put here. This is what the point was.”