Too often, self-help books follow a tried-and-untrue format: lots of passion, lots of energy, but leading to conclusions that are more woo-woo than evidence-based. Mercifully, ACE YOUR LIFE by Michelle Maidenberg–a New York-based therapist and teacher who has written several books that focus on mindfulness and mental and spiritual healing–strays from that format from the get-go.

Maidenberg’s upbringing was chaotic. All four of her grandparents survived the Holocaust, generating what she calls “obvious generational trauma.” Her parents divorced when she was three, resulting in an itinerant childhood made worse by “familial drug and alcohol abuse, constant arguing, instability, and emotional neglect.” She overcame these challenges to earn graduate degrees from Yeshiva University, New York University, and the State University of New York. How did she do it? By developing and practicing the ACE method, an acronym for Acceptance (“embracing who we are without expectations, conditions, or qualifications”), Compassion (“noticing, feeling emotionally moved, and responding to our sufferings as well as others’”), and Empowerment (“the ability to recognize we are in control of our own decisions, and ultimately our own lives, and we are taking direct action toward our values and goals”).

The recipe sounds fuzzy, but Maidenberg does a better job than most at offering step-by-step details. Self-help books often focus on external conflicts–how to protect yourself from attacks by the denizens of an uncaring world. The author includes plenty of that, but she also recognizes that part of becoming a better person includes taking better care of oneself. Everyone knows someone who claims to be “my own worst critic,” right? One of Maidenberg’s goals is to teach such people to “turn down the volume on their inner critic,” converting it into “an inner coach, inner advocate, and inner nurturer.” Other books recommend complete overhauls of habit and personal outlook, but Maidenberg’s approach is less radical–more like nibbling at the edges than whole bites. Her style is as easy and conversational as, say, Calvin Trillin’s columns, and she uses a wealth of examples–comedian Emo Philips. Writer Maya Angelou. Scores of other psychiatrists, therapists, and healers. Buddhist nun Pema Chodron, whose definition of mindfulness–“creating space between the craving and grabbing”–is intriguing. Plus there are examples from Maindenberg’s own practice which further serve to produce an empowering book.

With an evidence-based approach forged in the fires of the author’s own troubled upbringing, Michelle Maidenberg’s ACE YOUR LIFE offers a unique path toward self-fulfillment.

~Anthony Aycock for IndieReader