Sep 01, 2015
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Author Archives

Dan Kilian

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Dan Kilian writes songs, essays, fictions and lies in Sunnyside New York. He is the creative director for The Consumers*, a musical act, and the lead singer of Dan Kilian and The Million Man Band. He is the host of A Couple Nights A Week, an online interview program, and the Editor and a contributor to Klog, a literary blog.
bowe
Teach Me to Read  |  

Running Amok

Now a prisoner of war is coming home, and because a deal was cut, and because it was cut by Obama, pundits are vilifying a U.S. soldier who lost five years of his life.

it ain't
Observation  |  

It Ain’t Over…

According to Thomas Friedman, we’ve lost our privacy, everything is global, everyone’s got to develop new skills, and we’re all doomed.

income
Teach Me to Read  |  

The Great American Rip-Off

“Income inequality” sounds like a bunch of tin dimes being dropped in a bucket. That’s what it feels like, too, when the poor get paid.

net 1
Teach Me to Read  |  

It’s All in a Name

Sometime we name things so poorly that we forget what to do with them and get screwed for it.

quabba 2
Teach Me to Read  |  

Where the Qubba Meets The Road

John Kerry used the word “apartheid” and all hopes for peace in the Middle East were dashed.

Nevada Rancher And Federal Gov't Face Off Over Land Use Battle
Teach Me to Read  |  

Insanity Envy

The fact that their new folk hero is a flagrant racist is not directly related to the bellicosity being rewarded, though, come on, FOX, vet the nuttiness of your nut job.

dzhokhar-tsarnaev
Teach Me to Read  |  

The Stain of Murder

They’re going to kill that guy.

dawn
Teach Me to Read  |  

Freak It Forward

We’re cooking the planet, and we’ve got to do something about it.

distracted dog
Teach Me to Read  |  

Getting Our Perspective In Perspective

By determining what will affect us and then what we can affect, we can determine what to focus on in a distracting world.

true
Teach Me to Read  |  

The Earnestness of Being Important

Commercials should be about sex, wit, or low, low prices. They shouldn’t tell me their philosophy about dreams.

Republicans-vs-Democrats
Teach Me to Read  |  

Opporquality

The Democrats, concerned with not being perceived as too liberal, won’t advocate for “income equality” because that would be communist.

ukraine
Teach Me to Read  |  

Nukraine

Politics is a continuation of foreign policy by other means. At least, these days it is.

bowie
Teach Me to Read  |  

Oddity

Writing, like all art, needs to confuse us.

punctuation
Teach Me to Read  |  

Beating Paul Auster to Death

It’s the book that’s an allegory about the nature of art where the main character commits suicide in the end. Also, it doesn’t have any quotation marks. People talk, but no marks.

bad words
Teach Me to Read  |  

Bad Words

When [Super Bowl winner] Richard Sherman says “thug” is “the accepted way of calling somebody the N word nowadays,” does that seem simultaneously accurate and frightening?

grey
Teach Me to Read  |  

A Single Shade of Grey

I’d like to think I can resist my inner critic, but there’s no way I’d be able to resist calling her out for spelling grey wrong.

Change the Narrative
Teach Me to Read  |  

Change the Narrative

It’s time to move from narrative to story.

magnifying-glass
Teach Me to Read  |  

9 NEW New Years Facts You Never Knew

The 365-day year is a recent innovation, started by FDR during the Great Depression to stimulate spending.

black santa
Teach Me to Read  |  

11 X-mas-iting Christmas Facts You’ll Have to KNOW to BELIEVE!

Originally, the stocking hung by the fire had feet in them and Santa is TOTALLY black (apologies to Megyn Kelly).

mandela
Teach Me to Read  |  

Tweetenfreude

Yes, I’m talking about my horrible response to the death of Nelson Mandela.

of
Teach Me to Read  |  

Because Because

What’s that? You’re not up on that exciting new use of the language? You’re not “of”? Well, I’m of, and soon you will be too.

black 1
Teach Me to Read  |  

Tryptophan Lightastic

See you at the mall!

moses
Teach Me to Read  |  

We’re No Better than the Terrorists

Killing is killing. There’s a commandment against it, not to mention a few laws, so stop it.

dead-bird-plastic-belly-fea
Teach Me to Read  |  

Do NOT Click on This Link!

The gist is this: birds + plastic = dead birds.