Feeling stressed? Anxious? Angry? Insane? Are you unable to accomplish the simple tasks required to get the big things done? Do you look like crap, and feel worse? Do you feel like a loser? Like you’re falling behind and will never catch up? Do you hear voices from invisible people who tell you to do bad things?
If you answered yes to the last question there, you may be experiencing schizophrenia, but if the other questions hit home, you might need a time-management plan. Here’s all you need to know to switch from manic to masterful!
Are you flustered? Irritable? Does it feel as though you’re carrying a heavy weight, or that there’s a dark cloud hanging over you? Or that you’re carrying a dark cloud, or that there’s a heavy weight above you? Do the voices tell you to burn things?
Sorry, I forgot some more questions to see if you need a time management plan. Those are all good indicators too. Here’s everything you need to do to turn your life around.
Now, by “everything,” I mean the first installment of “everything.” You’re going to need to sign on to my newsletter, “Becoming a Time Lord: One Time at a Time,” in which I will give you great time management tips as well as ample opportunities to buy my bestselling book, Becoming a Time Lord: The First Five Steps*. You’ll get exciting new tips at least once a day. Don’t let them pile up in your in-box.
Now, here’s what you need to know to get started on a life or organization and purpose!
Do you find you don’t have time to do all the things you need to do?
Sorry, that’s the last one. I would have skipped it, but it’s one of the best questions. I’d re-paste it up with the other questions, but I don’t waste valuable time with revision. I’ve got too many important things to do. That’s the first thing you need to learn in order to LORD YOUR TIME. Don’t revise. Let others do that for you. We live in a world of context. As long as you get the gist across, people will infer what they need to infer.
Okay, maybe that’s not the first thing you need to learn, but it’s one of the things. HERE’s the first thing you need to do.
PLAN YOUR TIME
So many people skip this simple step, and they never recover. You must plan, and don’t wait for the start of the day. If you’re like me, you wake in the middle of the night screaming from nightmares. This is an excellent time to run the small details of your day over and over in a fevered loop. You’re not going to get back to sleep anytime soon, so use this time.
SLEEP IN LATE
You need to make up for that lost sleep. You’ve got a big day ahead of you. Waking up late sets you against the clock from the get-go. You need to get into “rush mode.” Once you’re in a frenzied rush, you’re ready to crunch time. You’re already maximizing your time potential. Skip that shower! Don’t brush your teeth! Run! You’re late! Maximize!
That’s wasted time. Drink a lot of coffee. You’re going to need that energy to whip things into shape. You’ll probably need to wash it down with a five-hour energy drink just to maintain.
ATTACK WITH ANXIETY
All the unmet goals and deadlines can generate stress. Don’t procrastinate the overwhelm! Address your fears that you will never get it all done. Talk to your fears. Say “I am afraid of you! I am such a loser! I will never get it done!” The morning commute is a good time to work out these feelings. By acknowledging your disarray, you are able to recognize it.
CHECK YOUR E-MAILS
Also, open another tab, so you can get your news. And another one for your celebrity gossip. Don’t forget your social media sites; you’ve got to stay connected. Better open some pertinent documents and spreadsheets. If you work in some physical capacity, you might want to get your tools assembled as well, and do some stretching exercises. Now you’re informed, info-tained, locked into your network, worked into your worknet, warmed up and laid out. It’s called “multitasking” and it’s a great way to handle your multiple tasks, all at once! Now you’re ready to…
CHECK YOUR E-MAILS
If you’re like me, you’ve got pages of e-mails, some opened, some not, sprawling across days of your inbox. Here’s how you manage them. Click on the oldest of the unopened e-mails, and, without reading it (reading is the time-killer) forward it back to yourself. Keep doing this with each successive unopened e-mail, until they’re all there at the top of your page, ready to be read. Congratulations! You’ve managed your in-box!
GET TO WORK
Check the news. Check your celebrity gossip. See if any of your friends have had yet another baby, or are dead-set on changing the nation’s gun laws. Like. Lay out your tools. Make some phone calls.
EAT A BIG LUNCH
You must be starving by now! Load up on those carbs! This isn’t a sprint, it’s a series of small sprints. Drink some more coffee.
CHECK YOUR E-MAILS
Did you sign up for my newsletter? Then you’ve probably got one of my helpful time-saving tips. You should also order my book: Becoming a Time Lord: The First Five Steps. Don’t confuse tips with steps! Tips are in the e-mails, steps are in the book, which you should order now. Don’t delay! That’s one of the tips. I’ve been told that the term “Time Lord” has already been used in the BBC sci-fi drama Dr. Who. Let them sue me! It’s just more publicity. I’d come up with something more original, but as I like to say, “I don’t have time for that!” If you follow my -ten step plan for time management you’ll learn to say “I don’t have time for that!” all the time!
Buckle your seat-belt! I meant to include that in the section on the commute. Don’t revise! I don’t have time for that!
See you in your in-box!
* Editor’s note: Dan Kilian does not really have a book called “Becoming a Time Lord.” He keeps meaning to write one, but he doesn’t have time for that.