It’s no surprise that Christmas brings out the wanna-be author in so many. After all, Richard Paul Evans wrote–and originally self-pubbed–“The Christmas Box” for his two daughters in 1994. It was later picked up by Simon & Schuster and has gone to sell roughly a gazillion copies (roughly). Evans now lives in a mansion that rivals Santa’s digs in the North Pole. Must have been one hell of a Christmas wish.
Let’s take a peak some of the titles and see where they end up on your holiday list.
How to Catch Santa by Dwayne McMillan
Billed as “The Ultimate Guide to Catching Santa!”, this book will prove that through ingenuity, patience, and hard work that even Santa isn’t immune to a good old fashioned kidnapping.
This guide will teach you:
• How to Catch Santa in the North Pole!
• How to Catch Santa from the Comfort of your Own Home!
• How to Safely Release Santa Back into the Wild. (This is trickier than you might think!)
Mr Sparrow’s Spectacular Boob isn’t about that sort of boob, it’s about the foolish blunders made by Mr Sparrow, headmaster of St Doughnuts School in the small town of Bogmarsh.
The story contains huge dollops of slapstick, wonderful disgusting bits, the world’s most embarrassing parents, a horrid villain, a crazy head teacher, and a whole class full of cheeky children. Add the crazy humor of Professor Paradox and you have a hilarious disaster in which things can’t possibly get any worse, until they do.
Mid-Life Christmas by Cory Clubb
Middle-aged salesman, Andy Whitfield, has just been laid off from his job. Not the kind of news you want to hear a week before Christmas.
Feeling old, tired and now broken of his eighteen year routine, he turns his frustrations on his wife and teenage daughter. Coming to grips with this new hopeless reality he’s given an opportunity to discover what he truly is missing.
Santa Claus is Dead by Jason Twede
An Elf stumbles across Santa’s body in the middle of the forest. A single set of footprints lead to the body and disappear. There is nothing else around for miles.
Discover a world in which Elves may be disgruntled factory workers or photographers on snow-shoed stilts — a world in which Mrs. Claus is less than half Santa’s age and wears a curvy, low-cut size 6 — a world in which penguins can be police officers and polar bears are beat reporters — a world in which humans are the minority and the native Snowmen have to hibernate each summer to keep from melting.
Knuckles’ Christmas Story by Tommy Garrison
Knuckles’ Christmas Story is a magical fable in rhyme. It is a short story, but a very long poem (huh?).
‘Knuckles’ is funny, entertaining, and well written, with a great message at the end. It’s sure to become a family favorite for all ages.
Dumb White Husband vs. Santa (A Short Story) by Benjamin Wallace
Erik has planned the perfect Christmas for his family.
The plan is foolproof, bulletproof and flame retardant. Nothing can undo the hours of planning and preparation.
Nothing but odd-shaped packages, ill-timed fruitcakes and an errant neighborhood Santa Claus.
Thanks to Gabe Habash at Publisher’s Weekly for up digging these titles and giving us permission to reprint.