Just Say NO

I know we’ve beaten this ‘nice guy’ thing to death but here we go again.

This involves authors reviewing other authors and I’m going to just draw the line here and say, don’t bother! You’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t.

Even if it’s a well-meaning two star review that successfully points out problems with the story based on excerpts from the text, you’re still screwed. That will turn a ‘nice guy’ into a ‘jackhole’ quicker than a zombie…

Wait, zombie?

Yeah, well. See the thing is the other author who wrote the review was riding the zombie wave, which is totally cool, but the zombie story was soooo slow and shuffling along like the zombie’s in George Romero’s “Night of the Living Dead”…not to be confused with the the ones in “The Walking Dead”. They’re kinda quick. Only this one wasn’t an edge of your seat kinda read…

Wait, zombie?

Stay with me. This is where it gets a little ironic in that both these stories were probably deserving of two stars and here we have two, two star authors with their hands around each others throats and calling in reinforcements and… Oh hell, it’s this kind of pointless slamming and shaming and social media frenzied name calling that gives authors a bad name.

So when another author asks you to review their book, just say no.

******************************************************************

Dear Apple,

Don’t mess with my Vagina!

For your information, Vagina is the technical term for a woman’s inner parts and a penis is the technical term for a man’s outty parts.

I’m telling you this so that when a feminist writes a history of the vagina and uses that in the title of her book, you won’t look silly replacing all the words in the middle with twinkly little stars. It makes you look…ummmm…I don’t know, but not smart. Not grown up. Hell not even politically correct.

Just to let you know. Everyone else is fine with using vagina and penis and allowing it in the book and in the title. Everyone, but you. And this doesn’t make you look clever or a purveyor of morals. It makes you look weird.

We shouldn’t have to revert to using vajayjay and there isn’t even one for a man’s outty parts that’s polite unless you steal something like “throbbing sword” from a romance novel. We’re all grownups here. Let a vagina be a vagina and a penis be a penis.

Yours truly,

Ms. Vagina

Contributed by Bio Tachi